dream about lola

i had a dream early this morning about lola carmen. lola is the tagalog word for grandmother. she passed away 5 years ago. none of my grandparents are living but she is the only one i can ever recall dreaming about. i have had dreams about lola carmen before but have never written about them. i remember the details of my last dream about her more than i remember my dream this morning. and that bothers me.

i woke up 10 minutes before my alarm was to go off. when i awoke i remember thinking, 'i just had a dream about lola, remember it.' i fell back asleep and can't remember a thing about the dream except for the brief moment of me looking at her feet. the only thing i see is a picture of her feet as if i were standing right in front of her taking a photo of her socks and slippers also capturing the hem of her dress. now that mental picture is fading. strange. i do recall being on some sort of walk or hike with her and having the thought, 'lola's not equipped for this. she's in loose calf-length socks, their elastic worn, and slippers.'

when lola lived with us she used to wear house dresses and slippers. she'd wear baggy socks (that should have been thrown out) with her slippers during the colder months. she made do even when she didn't have to. i think that bothered my mom. lola was a macgyver of sorts. she would fashion tools for the garden out of junk laying around the house or yard. lola would save everything from tin foil to plastic packaging. i know that bothered my mom.

every time i dream about grandma i wonder if she's trying to tell me something. last time i dreamt of her, she was happily twirling around a bright sun-lit living room in a yellow dress as if to show me she was doing well. she was happy. but this time, my dream wasn't as cheery. though the sun was shining, she was ill equipped for the walk. my belief is that she may need a little help to progress or continue walking where she currently is...