memorial weekend 2012

for the past 3 days i've been in and out of bed with a cold and flu.  i have no idea where it came from as i haven't heard of anyone else having it. at first i thought it was just a bad bout of allergies, going from a more humid southern california for the hb conference and then back to desert dusty las vegas.  i've thought of places i could have picked up the virus and just now i recall that one of the last times i've gotten this sick, i was also in a rental car driving hundreds of miles to a singles gathering.  i have deduced that i need to sanitize my rental cars and go to these events loaded up on vitamins and hand sanitizer.  or figure something else out.

i am more introspective and pensive when i'm sick. counting of sheep has never worked but this time thinking of how my ailing body works, specifically attempting to visualize how my mucus-obstructed lungs exchange oxygen into my blood as i breathe deeply, finally puts me to sleep. one of my last waking thoughts is one of awe and wonder.  how could the human body possibly develop and come to be by chance?

thursday evening my body was aching all over. even behind my knees.  i kept waking up, going to the bathroom and then struggling a bit to fall back asleep. when i couldn't take insomnia any longer, i asked Heavenly Father to please help me sleep.  I begged him out loud promising that i wouldn't attempt to make it to duck, nc this weekend for another singles gathering. i felt a little tingle in my upper body and i was out.

yesterday i had a bit of energy to get out of the house and make a fun purchase at rei.  their anniversary sale is going on and i've been meaning to pick up this solar charger for my emergency kit. it was on sale and i had my dividend to use so i made my way to the district at green valley and did a little shopping.

while in the car, i was listening to npr.  they had a special on for this memorial weekend.  veterans and people who had close interactions with people in the military were telling stories of their experiences.  i found myself shedding tears while listening to a former p.o.w.'s torture and eventual release. the details of his words painted pictures in my mind that i'm certain could not have come close to his reality.  his voice sounded like a gentle grandfather but he had been through hell and back.  seeing fellow soldiers and p.o.w.'s killed right next to him and losing a close friend in his arms as he fed his emaciated body were a couple of things he shared.

these people were real.  they were alive.  some still are.  i have not experienced anything like war and it is because of them.  i am thankful for them.  i am thankful for the men and women who serve in the military.  i am humbled by their sacrifice and by their courage.  i cannot fathom their griefs nor their struggles but i can honor them with my gratitude and allegiance to this blessed country. may we ever be worthy of God's blessings.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18563_162-57437366/with-thousands-of-flags-honoring-fallen-heroes-hes-never-met/?tag=showDoorFlexGridRight;SunMoImageStack

dang kickstand

this is my kickstand.  it's a pain. when i first got my ride a few years ago, i had no idea how to work the kickstand.  my friend j.l. needed to help me.  because he wouldn't be around all the time, i had to watch youtube videos and practice on my own.

as long as i am not barefoot and have some sort of a sturdy sole on my feet i can work the kickstand.  however, anytime i deploy the kickstand at a gas station i have a problem.  cement + kickstand = embarrassing situation. there is not enough grip on either surface (metal or cement) to allow for the kickstand to pop back up when i forcefully push forward. so, i look like someone lunging or abruptly stalling when i'm done gassing up and try to retract the stand.

this evening was no different.  i went to fill up at the station behind the M casino.  when i was done refueling, i couldn't retract the stand.  i kept scooting forward but the whole stand went along.  to make matters worse, a harley pulled up for fuel at the other side of the same pump.  i tried to hide behind the pump and still look somewhat normal as i tried and tried with quick forward thrusts to retract the stand.  no luck.  all along, the hog rider was watching me on the other side of the pump because as i turned around, i saw him grinning a big santa clause smile. his yellow bandanna and tattooed arms became less threatening with his smile.  we exchanged a few words about the stand and the helped me shove off.  i thanked him and got outta there as fast as i could. dang kickstand.

he who is without sin, cast the first stone

i have a new found respect for humanity.  i think that in general, people are good, lenient, and compassionate. i have seen glimpses of the qualities i believe our Maker would possess... and why not?  why would we not have within us the goodness, mercy, justice, and light of our Creator?

it was more apparent to me after serving on a jury for the past 6 days.  14 people (2 alternates) of different backgrounds, races, socioeconomic status, etc. were chosen to serve as jurors.  all had empathy and showed it in their own way.  i was appreciative of their examples.  nobody seemed to judge the other.  all were friendly.

but what struck me the most was how difficult it was for us to find a man guilty of a serious and grievous crime...(guilty or not so much) of first degree murder.  the burden of doing so weighed heavy on each of us.  many erred on the side of caution for the obvious reason of wrongful conviction but some hoped for a better outcome/chance for the defendant. so we wanted to be extra sure before making a final decision.  tears were shed and great emotion was expressed in deliberation.  consideration was shown toward a person none of us knew but felt a sadness for, a man found guilty.