photograph: prayers by johnny monahan

Sunday, November 20, 2011

again, dreams

i dream a lot.  everyone does.  but i often remember my dreams for a short while after.  the bothersome thing i am finding is that the feelings and emotions i experience while dreaming seem to spill over into my reality after awaking from them.

when i was married i recall having a dream where i became frustrated with my husband at the time. when i awoke from that dream i shared it with him and continued or began to act in frustration toward him. i now cannot remember the details of the dream but my reaction to it was wacky.

more recently i have had strange dreams that have left me puzzled.  extremely puzzled.  i have dreamed of pregnancy.  i have never had dreams of pregnancy before.  in the past i have had dreams of a little girl and a baby boy who i knew were mine but never about being pregnant with them.  so at present, as a single mormon without any children nor courting suitors, i find it strange to be having these dreams.

the first dream about it also included a hysterectomy or the removal of a vital part of my reproductive plumbing.  after having that dream i immediately made a long overdue appointment for a yearly exam.  that dream concerned me a little.  the second time i dreamt about it is very foggy but i know that i was pregnant.  my feelings were of acceptance, and contentment.  nothing overly excited nor shocked.

so i started looking up what dreams of pregnancy mean and they seem to be positive. i don't know how much to really believe what i read but essentially they mean bringing things, ideas, maybe even feelings to life. and i like that.  what is it inside of me that i'm trying to give birth to?  what is it inside of me that i want to grow and develop?  i have yet to figure that out.  but i can say that i am glad that i dream. i am glad that i can and am being encouraged to grow, develop, and learn.