great expectations?

when i first became single again a good friend told me this...
'you will find that people you don't like will like you and the people who you like won't like you. i don't know what's worse?'

i'm finding that the first is probably worse. only because you can control how you react to the fact that someone you find attractive doesn't like you. i mean, i've dealt with that all my life. i have liked boys who don't reciprocate the same feelings. and i've come away Ok and tougher.

i don't think that my list of non-negotiable must-haves is impossible but it IS specific to me. it's almost programmed into me. because try as i may, i can't force myself to be physically attracted to someone i'm not.

additionally, if i find a man physically attractive and his feelings for me are mutual, that doesn't mean we're clear for take-off. i must get to know what makes him the man that he is. i need to be able to shoot the breeze with relative ease. i need to know that chivalry is not dead. i want to be pursued and occassionally romanced. i want my hand held, my hair caressed, my cheeks and forehead kissed. i must know that he has a deep abiding love for God and His plan, and that no matter how crappy life may get he's going to stick around.

i am still hopeful.