shirking my duty

i've been shirking my duty as a fellow blogger. now there's a newsflash. anyway, i've turned back to my thoughts and have become more introverted. recent events have brought me back here to throw them back out into the bloggosphere. i still am trying to find the proper words and spirit to write about a dear person in my life... my sister. i think i've been purposely avoiding my blog because i haven't wanted to really think about the sadness and grief that comes as i think about her and her lot in life. but i feel as if i need to write about it.

on a random tangent, i'm sick to my stomach. i feel the same way i did years and years ago when i went on this date with a classmate named jason l. jason didn't treat me well, all he wanted from me was a make out session. he was a terrible slobbery kisser but i put up with it... once. anyway, on one date with this jason, we ended up doubling with his parents- of all people. his mom looked and dressed like lucile ball did on 'i love lucy'... no lie. anyway, so here we are double dating in the back seat of this ford taurus while his parents are in the front seat. prior to dinner someone had this brilliant idea that we'd drive through the hills of salt lake city to look at all the pretty houses. long story short, i got nauseous. but my stomach was empty. when we finally made it to the afghani restaurant where we were to eat, i about lost it with the smells. for some strange reason, i'm feeling that same ill feeling tonight. just thought i'd share.