fold laundry or blog?

i just dumped a basket full of clean clothes on my bed. i should be folding and putting them away but i'd rather blog. i'm using the clothes as a mold able stand for my laptop. the position i have the computer, tilted backward against the pile of darks on my lap feels quite ergonomic.

i have a big long post that i'm still working on. yesterday, i was all about writing it, but today, i'm not in as a pondering state. so, i'm dilly dallying till i get there. i think i'll put some motab on pandora and see if that works. here goes...

but before i get to that long post, some eventful things that took place today were 1) we had a thanksgiving potluck at work. i brought over a pound of chicken caesar salad from albertsons along with a pound of 5-bean salad and a half pound of this lemon parmesan pasta salad. i had forgotten tha the potluck was today so everything was purchased and not homemade... like it would have been anyways, only presented differently. i was pretty much the only one who dug into my contributions. oh well. i'm bummed i got so much salad because that stuff will be nasty tomorrow when we all go for the leftovers. 2) my new phone arrived in the mail today. i like the phone but i have no idea how to use it. i tried to use the calendar function but it wants me to sync it up to some other application...huh? why can't i just add a friggin' event manually?

mortality

i’ve thought about mortality here and there. i just haven’t been able to articulate my pensive state but as i think about it again today, i’m going to try. i don’t wish for this post to be depressing, i just want to put my thoughts and feelings on paper maybe to reflect or expound on at a later date.

for some, the mortal existence consists of struggles rife with illness, either physical, mental or both. for others, addictions. for many poverty and oppression. i surmise that for many of us we may experience a little or a lot of one or more of these struggles.

there is a spectrum of hardships (I guess all of the above can be considered hardships ) going all sorts of directions like a 3-d asterisk … the combination of which puts us on all sorts of planes. i'm not waxing scientific by any means, just trying to be a little descriptive. just as snowflakes and fingerprints are different, each of us has our own specific hardships... making us all unique. alternatively, we all have developed positive attributes and talents that may have come as a result of our struggles.

i think about those born with physical handicaps- having to immediately adapt to a world where most don’t lack what that person lacks. one who is visibly ‘different’ and will look that way for the most part. i think about those who get an illness that hinders the normalcy they once had, adds pain, or even takes away the independence of the person who was at once ‘whole’.

i think about those whose struggles are less visible-sometimes even to themselves. those who struggle to get out of bed in the morning, who fear things that are not usually feared, ones who are socially lacking, but whose minds are so quick to understand and recall what the majority of us don't. i think about those who are prone to addiction of substances, thoughts or actions. those who struggle with self-imagery. i think of those who are unable to reproduce. i think about those who have lost loved ones and those who are lonely.

something that i don't really fathom is poverty and oppression... but i can see and learn about it through relatives, friends or the media. anyway, i'm sure i haven't listed it all but i have thought about mortality- especially with respect to what my specific purpose here is, why i was born into the circumstances i was, and what my life experiences are for.

i have concluded that i am still trying to figure out what it is i was born to do and that's ok. as long as i'm living right, i will figure that out. i have also come to the conclusion that no body's life is easy, nor is it perfect. it may seem that way for some but we don't see behind closed doors. though my lot seems quite comfortable currently, i have experienced a deep hurt, loss and pain that i don't wish upon anyone. also, the worries and fears i once had have diminished. as time seems to be healing these things, something else seems to be a balm to my soul and i know that to be the gospel of Jesus Christ.

when i analyze the hardships i had and i reflect on the person i am today, i see someone with more compassion, someone who is more empathetic, someone less greedy and selfish, more independent, and a tad bit more ambitious. although my ambition is geared more toward finding out what my specific purpose in life is.

i'm totally winging it here on earth but what brings me comfort and guidance is again, the teachings of Christ. when i rely on them, the storms of life are more bearable, and the lessons i should learn from them become a little clearer.

behind other closed doors, what is it that has changed one's heart to not wish harm on someone who has harmed them? what is it that has changed one's heart to be willing and not ashamed to care for a loved one when the time comes? what is it that allows one to be happy to spend time with the youth of the church or serve in any other capacity? what is it that makes one want to ease other's burdens by donating their time and or money? if i had to give a generalized answer, it would be peace. what other than peace comes as a result of having those honest feelings behind closed doors? what can be some of the results of peace? happiness, joy, stability, and love.

what gets someone to truly obtain that peace? following the teachings and example of the Prince of Peace. He and only He was perfect. He faced hardships yes, but He taught by example and lived a perfect life. He showed us how to heal the sick, feed the hungry, love the sinner... He loved us.

john 14:27

i found out

why zumba is done in the dark. today our teacher was filming us doing some of her new routines to post on youtube. i learned quickly that i don't look as good as i thought i did whilst doing zumba. yikes. please turn those lights back off.

my latest worry...or at least troubled thought

as much as i dislike cats, i think i've comfortably adopted one of their common attributes- independence. i really enjoy my independence, my solitude, my alone time at the beginning and end of the day. why is this troubling to me? because i don't want to turn into one of those weirdos that my single friend mark has talked about. he said something like the longer you live alone (stalkers and creepers you shouldn't be reading this) the weirder you get.

well, here's to my weirdness because i don't foresee myself living with someone anytime soon. the thought of cohabiting with another-and a male at that, ties my stomach in knots. i'm way too comfortable in my mess and with my routine. it sounds like my place is a sty... it could use some help, but it's my mess. it's something i and i alone can stand. i can't stand anyone else's mess and i'm sure nobody would want to stand mine. i like living alone.

BUT, let's make this clear, i want to be married again someday. just not yet, i guess. maybe if i met my e.c. i would be singing a different tune but right now, sharing my living space doesn't sound at all appealing. anyhoo, random thoughts by rika.

who woulda thought?

in a past post, i sang costco's praises. costco has had negative publicity as of late, especially here in las vegas. with the shocking and unfortunate death of erik scott at the summerlin costco in west las vegas, i hope i'm not offending one of my dear friends by revealing that i still shop there on occasion. i believe that the extreme over-reaction of a few resulted in a devastating and sad outcome.

that being said, i went to costco this afternoon. costco on a saturday is like going to disneyland during it's busiest day. i dislike crowds and traffic but today, i had a mission. my mission was to exchange a pajama set that i had purchased for one of my nieces. mission plus 2 accomplished.

it's difficult to go into a costco for just one thing. not only does everything come in bulk but they sometimes have such great buys that you can't pass them up. such was my experience today. i got one of the few remaining kitty pajamas (with feet) in the right size along with a darling 3-piece shirt, sweater vest, and pant set for that same niece. i hope she likes her gifts.

after grabbing those items, naturally, i had to look at all the new things being sold before Christmas and sample the food. quelling my appetite with some chips and guacamole, tomato basil bisque, spinach ravioli, and salmon i made my way to the dreaded checkout lines. i found a short line toward the left of traffic with carts in front full of only a few bulk items. i was confident i chose a great line. indeed i had. as i glanced at the costco employee working the register, i thought, he's not bad looking. when my time to check out came and our eyes met, kevin's sparkled as he smiled and greeted me. i smiled back and i believe i said hello. we proceeded to make small talk.

'this is all you have?'

'yes, they're for my nieces.'

'no kids of your own?'

'not yet. someday.'

'haven't met the right guy yet?'

'i guess not... not yet.'

'maybe i'm that guy!?'

'maaaybe!?'

'i would love to take you out.'

'are you serious?'

'yes. here.' kevin pushes a button near the receipt's printer, pulls out some paper and hands me a pen. i quickly write my number then my name and push the paper back to him.

'have a great day,' he says smiling as he proceeds to ring up the lady behind me.

'you too.' i smile back.

if anything, costco delivers again. and kevin, thanks for making my day. who woulda thought?

hiding snacks

if i had more time maybe i'd write more. or maybe not. pensive. that's my new word for the day. i learned it looking through facebook photos. it was the title of someones picture with two gals on a park bench (only it was a beach bench). the two girls were looking out into the ocean seemingly in deep thought. i wish this thing had a grammar check. anyway, i also learned that i have to be in a pensive mood to write. i don't know if that's the correct use of the word but it works for me.

so i just got back from yet another singles conference. this time it was in austin, tx. the last- minute trip was one of curiosity. curiosity about what austin was about or texas for that matter. the conference was secondary. and no, i didn't find my E.C. (eternal companion). no cigar. not even close. however, i did have a ton of fun.

finding my way

here in las vegas has been an adventure. being single has its ups and its downs but i feel really fortunate that my downs don't seem as difficult as i guess they could be. i think the key to keeping me from feeling blue goes back to one of my earlier posts 'something to look forward to'. activities, activities and more activities.

i have dear friends to thank for that. i'd like to give a shout out to leta for being THE socialite of the lds singles scene. because of you, i have something to do every weekend. and that means a lot to me. love you girl.

another thing i have tried to do with my time is focus on my interests, and in turn, hopefully develop my talents. i don't know what exercise has to do with developing my talents but i'm sure glad i have the ability to participate in physical activity. i recognize this as a huge blessing. during my first sprint triathlon, i remember being so overwhelmed with gratitude and happiness as i was nearing the end of my run. even though i was exhausted, i remember offering up a prayer for help to keep going. and then, i remember saying one of thanks. i was so thankful that i could do what i was doing at the time. that made me happy.

another thing i've taken up is chinese. i want to learn to speak chinese. i figure it'll come in handy in the future. so, i'm taking a continuing education class at unlv. i really enjoy it. i have anxiety at times when called on to read or speak in class but i enjoy the challenge and i feel like the teacher finds me amusing so that helps. i've felt a pull toward my chinese ancestry as of late. i used to be so uninterested and wanted nothing to do with the fact that my genealogical work would have to be done. but the truth is there is no magic wand that will get that work done so this is where i'm starting. i'm still trying to catch that desire.